From the mouths of babes...

My sister has come to my aide this semester and picks up my kids from school two days a week. Yesterday, while talking my son (who is very much like his Aunt in temperament) and my sister said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

To this my sister quipped, "You know what they say 'Great minds think alike'."

To which my brilliant son replied, "No, great minds think like no one else!"

Touche!

New Year - Same Old Moi

People tend to always want to reinvent themselves around the first of the year. Isn't that what resolutions are really all about? Casting a wish for betterment out into the Cosmos and hoping somehow that will bring about the change we so desperately desire? Don't get me wrong. There is plenty about me that I want and need my Creator to daily transform. But lately I have just not been myself at all. Do you know that feeling? Feeling like you are walking around in a bad dream as someone else? Well that is how I have felt anyway.

School per usual took over my life last semester. What I am slowly realizing is that it is not all "schools" fault. I am a perfectionist and also tend to focus on one thing at a time. So whatever is taking up the major chunk of time in my life tends to be where my focus lands. Sounds appropriate unless you realize that I have two kids who are rapidly morphing into people all together different than the ones I brought into this world. And a very patient husband... and a ninety-four year old Grandmother who was like another mother to me. Sigh, do you see my dilemma?

To say it rather rudely, I just suck at balance. When I used to homeschool my kids and bake bread from scratch and make every meal from fresh organic ingredients (I only know this because I recently found my entire life in pics from 2007 in a random place on my computer), I felt rather smug, as if I had it all together. It seemed good and right because I spent 100% of my energy on my kids/family. What I know now looking back is that my friendship with my husband was sorely neglected and I had no time whatsoever for myself. Balance - why must you allude me so?

I am of the belief that part of this is strictly nature - genetic inborn temperament, while still other is nurture. My Dad is exactly this way. Well actually, my Dad and my Mom. My Dad in a more helpless way like myself. He simply can't juggle. Plod away at one thing well and let all the other balls land where they may. I swear we don't even notice the cacophony of balls ricocheting around us in deadly fashion. We are just that focused on the one ball we have in motion. Proud of it really. My Mom, well she can certainly hold more than one thing in her mind at a time (and does). She juggles. She just tends to put the lion's share of energy into the task she deems most valuable or necessary at that juncture. Makes sense I guess - unless you are one of the other smaller less important balls.

But I digress, this is not a session with Freud nor are these challenges I face my parent's fault (sheesh now I know where my son gets this from). I just need to allow Creator to realign my thinking and make some changes. He's done it before - I know He's the man for the job:) All this silly rambling really leads me to my point that I am celebrating feeling like myself once more. Not some solely obsessed she-devil - but M.E. I never knew how fond of M.E. I had grown;) I am so grateful this new year for the holiday's that afforded me time to slow things down significantly. I am so grateful for the Arctic blast of air that has turned my rural town into an ice rink for the past week - and afforded me time to snuggle up with the ones I love most in this life. I am thankful for a Creator who gave me a husband with the patience of Job - at least as far as I'm concerned. I am thankful for a niece who prays mighty prayers, a brother-in-law who doesn't view church as a one man show, and the faithfulness of the Holy Spirit. I am full of gratitude to feel spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically more myself than I have in over a decade.

So this - I welcome change that is eternal - not temporal. I thank Father that the wilderness did not kill me and that in fact it allowed me to see the miraculous lengths to which God will go in order to preserve His children. I am grateful for fourteen years of marriage - seven years running away, seven years working in sobriety. I realized the other day it has been like Leah and Rachel. We want the Rachel but we need the Leah. Gratitude for the Leah years - and so excited to see the many "children" that will be birthed over the next fourteen years. God is good - all the time.

Thanksgivings

1) Working in the garden. Endlessly weeding with a boy who seems to be turning into a man child before my very eyes. A man child, asking deep questions, about the eternal and the beginning of time.

2) The first fruits of labor. Broccoli, fresh from the stem - debugged and carefully washed, then gently steamed into deliciousness.

3) A cup of Keurig coffee, steaming hot with just a touch of honey and cream.

4) Morning meditations rediscovered in the words of The Message. Gospels come alive, speaking clearly, reaching across the chasm of cultural differences.

5) Finding a new favorite book - The Secret Life of Bees.

"When you are unsure of yourself," she said, "when you start pulling back into doubt and small living, she's the one inside saying, 'Get up from there and live like the glorious girl you are.' She's the power inside you, you understand?"
Her hands stayed where they were but released their pressure. "And whatever it is that keeps widening your heart, that's Mary, too, not only the power inside you but the love. And when you get down to it, Lily, that's the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just love - but to persist in love."

Right up there with To Kill and Mockingbird and I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings. lovely, just lovely.

Thank you.

Catching up

This has been the most glorious spring for birds around here. Perhaps it is because we have had the windows open for a month now, but it seems like I can hear so many more birds this year. I don't know if there is anything better than a quiet cool house and the sounds of birds singing in the background.


Made muffins this morning using this recipe. This time however I used strawberries that were just about over ripe. I omitted the cinnamon and....drumroll please....I substituted the 1 cup milk for 1/2 cup organic vanilla yogurt and 1/2 cup organic milk. Ohhhhhh they are so scrumptious if I do say so myself:)


I am laughing at myself. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off and yet when I get ready to blog I think, "my life is so boring. I have nothing to share." That was until I just uploaded the May pictures. Wow I will have to do a whole post tomorrow on things to do in East Tennessee.


Right now, as the boys snooze on, I am listening to the quiet chatter of a girl playing in her dollhouse. "Room service...we have spaghetti, eggs,...." The dollhouse was something my grandmother started but never finished before Alzhiemers took over her life. Noone else in the family seemed interested in taking on the project of restoration of the beast and so, my little brood received the honors. Several years ago I began working on the crumbling house for my daughters birthday. You can view the pictures of that project here.



And while we are sharing, let me share our "grown up furniture"!

I have always dreamed of having a red overstuffed couch and chair. Imagine my happiness when I showed up to help my sister price for a yard sale to benefit her family's mission trip to Peru. There sat my dream couch (someone had donated it to the sale). When she told me the price, I immediately called my husband who graciously agreed to come over and see the dream couch. My husband agreed it was a purchase we could make and voila! my dream became a reality.

The new furniture led to an update of artwork above the piano. Excuse the photography (I was using my cell phone). These paintings were done my beloved husband as a project for his color theory class. I just loved them. They really served to change the feel of the room.

Hope your day is warm and full of adventure!

A Winter Walk

Snow is a rare thing here in our little valley. We would be remiss to not venture out and enjoy all that she has to offer. With mittened hands grasping cameras we set off to explore the woods near our home deep in Winter's grasp. All of the pictures (with the exception of the ones I took of the kids) were taken by my nine and seven year old. It fascinates me to see the world through their vantage point.




This is the path from our house to my parent's home next door, all made by little feet. I loved the circular route. It speaks volumes of how children journey through life.

A pine cone nestled in the snow.




A neighbor's barn.

A quaint birdhouse.

A portrait of mom.

Journeying into the small wood.

I didn't even see this little habitat when as I walked along! What a nice little home for mouse, mole, or rabbit. Although I'd rather like to think of a large gnome family living here!

This I didn't notice right away either. My son spotted it first and did an amazing job of capturing the futility of winter.

The clearing coming out of the wood.

Let's stop and make snow angels. Notice my son has brought home a treasure (beside him in the pic) someone long ago abandoned in the wood.

Now that is beautiful.

His view of his treasure... some sort of metal box.

And my perspective as they journey home...

So grateful for these moments.

I have been blissfully rolling along with life, reading everyone else's blogs, but having little motivation to say much here.

The kiddos and I took a wonderful walk in "woods" near our house today in the snow. That was a great adventure. It occurred to me recently that my kids are missing out on many of the things I enjoyed most from my own childhood, foremost roaming outdoors with no supervision. I don't know if it is fear of random acts of violence or the impending doom that rushes past with each vehicle, but I just cannot see letting them play out of my sight in this day and age. I don't know if I was any safer, living in an era gone by in the middle of no where, with no traffic, but it felt that way. Anyhoo, I wanted them to experience some that sense of exploration and so I decided to escort them on a walk off the beaten path. They chose the route which hopefully gave them some sense of independence in the whole experience. I will try and post some pics they took along the way tomorrow.

We are experiencing some snowfall for the second time this year. So much fun for us. Unfortunately, the kids are on snow day number four which is not the case for the local University I attend. It leaves me scrambling to find last minute childcare, ughhh.

On a completely other than note...I came home from a small get-a-way weekend with my Mom and sister to the most wonderful surprise ever. My family had cleaned out our garage enough for my car to actually park IN the garage. Especially with all the recent weather, it has been such a huge blessing. Best present ever!

Weebles Wobble but they won't fall down...unless boiled in hot water!

When I was a little girl my parent's bought their first home: a gorgeous, rambling, Victorian, fixer-upper. I loved, loved, loved, that house. I have fantastic memories of playing hiding seek with my siblings, which was quite a challenge with all the nooks and crannies that house held. I remember sliding across wooden floors, basking in a sunshine filled room (there were literally two walls of windows), and eating in the breakfast nook off the kitchen. I also remember opening the pantry on any given occasion to small bugs colonizing our dry goods. My parent's referred to them as weebles. I'm unclear on their scientific name. I remember eating more than one bowl of cereal half way before realizing there were weebles drowning in my bowl. Ahhh, childhood.

Needless to say I was more than a little chagrined last night when I had slaved over from scratch beef stroganoff over whole grain brown rice, only to discover there were more black flecks than usual in the rice. Never mind I reasoned, I did use the pepper grinder. Until I saw legs, yes, I am pretty sure those are legs. By this time my apparent scrutiny of my stroganoff had brought the curiosity out in the rest of the family. "What are you doing , Mom?" my son asked as he shoveled his second helping of stroganoff in his mouth. (I had only begun to eat, as the movie The Christmas Story so truthfully proclaims "my mother hasn't had a hot meal in years".) Then my very squeamish husband began to ask questions while at the same time reassuring everyone it was just the flecks in the rice. Until our son loudly proclaimed, "It's got legs! It's not rice. It's got legs!" At this point my darling husband got up to insect, excuse the Freudian slip, I mean inspect the bag of very expensive uncooked organic all natural rice. At first nothing, until he dumped the entire bag on the counter top. "Um, everybody stop eating," he said calmly. "Is it bugs?" I inquired. "Yeah, it's definitely bugs. They're still moving around in here."

So we all scrapped our plates, put on our coats, and headed for taco night at our favorite Mexican restaurant. "You know this only serves to confirm my aversion to cooking," I calmly informed my husband. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for all the meals."