Things I am realizing...

• to love does not mean to never experience displeasure with others choices
• to cherish does not mean you always agree with others opinions
• feelings come and go and do not define reality
• ignoring anger, frustration, disappointment does not help anyone and leads to toxic build up emotionally

Feeling very unsettled in a lot of peripheral relationships right now. Trying to sort through. Realizing I have not taken time to meditate on His unchanging truth. Love is patient and kind and long suffering... which does not mean the absence of opportunity to be impatient, unkind, and short tempered (which has been my faulty thinking). If I "feel" mad or think unkind things or want to snap...then I am not loving. What a lie! I am loving if despite my feelings I choose not to snap, not to say the unkind things, or pour out my wrath on the nearest victim. But I must acknowledge and release the emotions or they eat away at me.

March seems to be a wee bit confused in my estimation. It came in ever so gently only a few weeks ago and now I would not be surprised to find my house has joined Auntie Emm's somewhere over the rainbow. Shew!

I have only five short weeks left in this semester which means projects, papers, observations, and tests are keeping me hopping. That and the nasty little strain of Influenza that decided to come for a very extended visit at our home. Yuck!

I have some Spring pics I want to share but am in no hurry since Spring has only just officially begun.

I would rather spotlight the biggest happening in March: our littlest family member turned eight! How can that possibly be so? T, you have turned into such a lovely creature. I find myself staring at your otherness from me. Gawking is rude, I know, but it's so hard to be mindful not to stare at someone as captivating as yourself. These days you tickle my ears with endless stories of your daily happenings, always punctuated with great dramatic flair. I love the stories you write, simply for your own pleasure. The latest you shared with the family, Slave Love, actually has all the makings of a positively wonderful piece of historical fiction. Nothing pleases me more than your ever incresing love of reading. The books get longer and longer but the theme remains the same, animals. I love your consistency, that for five years now you have not wavered from your declaration of "When I grow up I want to be a vet!". I wince sometimes when you tell me of your latest friendship woes, and how truely wrong you think everyone else always is. I pray in time you will learn to see your own place in your story, good and bad. I love our long talks, sometimes in hushed whispers lying side by side in your bed, door closed so "the boys" don't hear us. I revel in your honesty. Your willingness to tell the truth, even when it might get you in trouble. I laugh when I see you climbing on everything, precariously balanced, rolling in the grass with the dog, because it reminds me so much of the girl I once was. And I gasp sometimes, one hand over my eyes, barely wanting to look as you peddle your bicycle full force DOWN the biggest hill on our street. I never was a risk taker. You get that from your Daddy. I admire the modesty from with , it seems, you came from the womb (you always shrieked whenever you had to be undressed)! I repsect that, and I pray you rub off on the girls you encounter on your journey through life. You are an amazing gift and we love you so much.

Glimpses into Girlhood

Six years old

Seven years old

Eight years old

The Short of It...

• my husband has Crohns disease
• he had a flare up last week and we ended up spending the week in our local hospital
• the kids have had a record number of snow days ie: days they are out of school but alas I am not
• I am approaching mid terms at school and trying to catch up from a week being MIA

"You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can. " Jimmy Carter

This quote is on my bulletin board above my desk. The mantra running through my head at all times: "Put one foot in front of the other". Missing you all and dreaming of catching up on all the lovely postings I have missed reading.

Valentine Vignettes

My daughter just loves holidays. After reading Manuella's blog

I was inspired to decorate our house for Valentine's Day. Nothing could have thrilled my daughter more! We were going to make a tree to decorate but alas, life has kept us busy and no ornaments have been made. We will definitely aim for that next year. Here is what we accomplished.

Our front door.

My mom had these sweet brambly and button wreaths at her shop.

A Valnetine platter a friend gave me years ago, and our cookie cutters:)

This is a shelf in our entryway. The sheet music is for "I Love You So Much It Hurts".

...and the fireplace. The running joke is, it looks like cupid threw up:)

Hope your Valentine's Day is full of love!

A Winter Walk

Snow is a rare thing here in our little valley. We would be remiss to not venture out and enjoy all that she has to offer. With mittened hands grasping cameras we set off to explore the woods near our home deep in Winter's grasp. All of the pictures (with the exception of the ones I took of the kids) were taken by my nine and seven year old. It fascinates me to see the world through their vantage point.




This is the path from our house to my parent's home next door, all made by little feet. I loved the circular route. It speaks volumes of how children journey through life.

A pine cone nestled in the snow.




A neighbor's barn.

A quaint birdhouse.

A portrait of mom.

Journeying into the small wood.

I didn't even see this little habitat when as I walked along! What a nice little home for mouse, mole, or rabbit. Although I'd rather like to think of a large gnome family living here!

This I didn't notice right away either. My son spotted it first and did an amazing job of capturing the futility of winter.

The clearing coming out of the wood.

Let's stop and make snow angels. Notice my son has brought home a treasure (beside him in the pic) someone long ago abandoned in the wood.

Now that is beautiful.

His view of his treasure... some sort of metal box.

And my perspective as they journey home...

So grateful for these moments.

I have been blissfully rolling along with life, reading everyone else's blogs, but having little motivation to say much here.

The kiddos and I took a wonderful walk in "woods" near our house today in the snow. That was a great adventure. It occurred to me recently that my kids are missing out on many of the things I enjoyed most from my own childhood, foremost roaming outdoors with no supervision. I don't know if it is fear of random acts of violence or the impending doom that rushes past with each vehicle, but I just cannot see letting them play out of my sight in this day and age. I don't know if I was any safer, living in an era gone by in the middle of no where, with no traffic, but it felt that way. Anyhoo, I wanted them to experience some that sense of exploration and so I decided to escort them on a walk off the beaten path. They chose the route which hopefully gave them some sense of independence in the whole experience. I will try and post some pics they took along the way tomorrow.

We are experiencing some snowfall for the second time this year. So much fun for us. Unfortunately, the kids are on snow day number four which is not the case for the local University I attend. It leaves me scrambling to find last minute childcare, ughhh.

On a completely other than note...I came home from a small get-a-way weekend with my Mom and sister to the most wonderful surprise ever. My family had cleaned out our garage enough for my car to actually park IN the garage. Especially with all the recent weather, it has been such a huge blessing. Best present ever!

On Baking Therapy

I've had this basic muffin recipe for several years. The other night I was feeling like breakfast for dinner so I started a quiche. I don't know why but I simply cannot eat quiche without something sweet. I was all out of the usual suspects when it occurred to me I had a bag of apples slowly going the way of the cross in my crisper bin. Apple cinnamon muffins it is! Now let me warn you, these contain no nutritional value. They are just sweet and serve to calm my nerves. Baking brings order to my very chaotic life:)

Apple Cinnamon Muffins

• preheat oven to 400 degrees
• lightly grease muffin tins or line with cupcake papers
• 2 cups flour
• 1 TBSP baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp nutmeg
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup milk (I used buttermilk but sometimes I use sour cream)
• 1 cup sugar
• 8 TBSP of real butter
• 1 tsp real vanilla
• 1 to 2 tsp cinnamon (I just eyeballed it)
• 1 to 1 1/2 peeled, chopped apple

Mix first four dry ingredients. Cream butter and sugar together. Fold into dry mixture. Add eggs and milk and blend. Add remaining spices and fruit. Stir until just blended. Fill muffin cups almost to top. Bake 20 to 30 minutes or until fork comes out clean. Enjoy!

Like I said this is a basic muffin recipe. You can delete and add spices and fruit to your liking. I like to make them with blueberries when they are in season.